Sunday, April 30, 2006  

Have i ever told you that i hate cats? Just found this picture... Reminded me why.

   [ posted  @ 2:47 PM | ]

Alright then. Idol.

Good week! Good idea to open up two phone lines for each person. I was not home so i could not vote. Not sure if people could still get thru. I have my doubts.

I really liked Katherine. Not sure why the judges were SO negative... I think she probably over-sang it in a lot of parts (Whitney Houston song) but she was trying her hardest. I really do think that she and Elliot are the two best singers left.

Taylor blew it, that was kind of boring. Great song - but he did not do it justice.

Chris was alright. At least his song did not contain the word "rainbow" again.

Paris must go... she has a lot of talent, but for her age, there is no genre of music she could sell records in.

Elliot rocked. Loved him.

Kellie was horrible. I won't be suprised if she either is voted off tonight, or at least in the bottom three. That was painful.

   [ posted  @ 7:00 AM | ]

OMG i have ink on the brain; i'm sorry. If you care, this is a very well written to-the-point article about things i've been saying for a long time regarding the ink-jet fairy tale.

I also need to report that HP has pulled it's support of retailers reimbursing customers to recycle their ink cartridges. It was announced today we can take the cartridges for recycling, but we are no longer giving free reams or paper or the $3.00 off coupon for HP... someone somewhere at HP has finally caught on... they are losing big big money! I talked to our rep today and got quite the inside scoop... This is truly only round-one. The refill machines like the one i am in charge of may cause major law suits... and i won't be suprised to see HP demand that we not refill their cartridges due to patent laws.

Another article here


There's gold in them thar hills...

   [ posted  @ 7:54 PM | ]

There is a temporary cease-fire between myself and the Ink machine. The technicians came to repair it on Thursday, and yesterday since it was a slow day, a few of us spent some time attempting to refill the one type of cartridges that we'd been taught about. Still takes a good 20-30 min. to fill one cartridge & i have no idea how we are supposed to get it working seamlessly without pre-filling them and having them ready for people to purchase. I tried to do a tri-color one and the yellow needle started to ooze back out of the cartridge so i had to stop it and gave up. I've started a list of questions for the trainer when he comes back next week. Until then, we are leaving the machine pretty much alone.

Now you know everything.

   [ posted  @ 10:08 AM | ]

I debated whether or not to post about this, but i just have to do it. I'm on a roll here...

I had two incredible customer experiences this week that are so unbelieveable maybe putting them in cyberspace will help take the edge off. I also am really starting to look around and ask more questions, as i believe i'm being set up for Candid Camera or a hidden camera show like that.

Story #1: I was called to assist a customer looking for O.C.R. software. If you don't know what that is, ocr is "optical character recognition" software that you can use to scan a text document into your computer so that after it's scanned in, you can edit it and change it. I asked him what he wanted that for, as he was a very strange looking man... and didn't seem like a normal business customer. He was wearing fairly thick huge glasses.

His reason? He started to tell me this long story about how when goes to some book stores, the shelves are messy, and some books are sideways or upside down or crooked and he can't quite see all the titles. So his idea was [keep in mind i am not making this up] to take his laptop with him, and also a digital camera. He would use his digital camera to take a picture of the random messy shelf, put the picture in some type of o.c.r. software, and then make the book titles be right-side up and organize them so he could use a search-field to find the book he wanted. He went on and on about this, and i was looking hard at his clothing, buttons, and glasses to see if there could not be a hidden camera bc i was having a very hard time keeping a straight face. He was so methodical about it. I only sell 1 title for o.c.r., and i was explaining to him that it would not do what he wanted to do. I wanted so badly to ask him how he could justify taking up 20 minutes of my time asking ME about this, yet he couldn't find an associate at the book store to just help him find the title he needed?????????????????????????????????????? Round and round we went. I was trying to explain to him that even if there was such a software like that in the world, it doesn't exist at my store. I kept trying to leave him be, by saying my famous exit line, "I'll let you look around, let us know if you have other [key word: OTHER] questions..." but he kept asking stupid crap. I won't try to explain to you why he wanted to buy his daughter blue tooth headsets so she could sleep better and he would electronically change a frequency to sound her alarm clock in her ear as she slept. ugg.


Story #2: As you walk into the store, the 2nd endcap on the left is a big green recycle your ink drop off thing. It has a big sign on it that says, "Save 3$ instantly" and in smaller letters says "when you recycle your ink at officemax, valid only on hp, dell, lexmark, limit 5 per customer. Minimum purchase required" etc. A lady seriously came up and asked if she put her cartridges in the machine, if 3 dollars would pop out, and where does the money dispense? She really thought it was some kind of cyber ink-ATM where you put your cartridges in, and it would dispense cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY. I shot back at her, "It is 3$ off any purchase. Just give us your ink and we will give you the 3$ off your purchase." This only confused her more bc she didn't know if she should put her ink in the drop-box or take it to the check out. [The answer is, we really don't care, we just want you to make up your mind, pick out your crap and get out of our store so we can get our work done.]

And there you have it. I'll be fired any day now when they realize i'm blogging about this.

   [ posted  @ 9:41 PM | ]

Ink Machine (VendaFace) update. We tried to do the training today, but there were a lot of problems. It took us 90 minutes to fill one cartridge... umm, not bad... ? Let's see, if that was for a real customer who was waiting, what would i do? I'll just tell the customer to go have a seat on the furniture pad and wait that long. He can read one of the Susie Orman books, or the Donald Trump book or better yet, the Martha Stewart book that we have. Or, why not drop it off, i'll refill it and you can pick it up tomorrow. GOOD THING YOU SAVE 3.00 &!@#$ DOLLARS ON THE CARTRIDGE WHILE YOU PAY THAT MUCH IN GAS DRIVING AROUND!!!! CAN'T JUST BUY THE 3RD PARTY CARTRIDGES WE SELL, OR BETTER YET, REAL LIVE REGULAR ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrr! Anyways, the machine needs repairs already - we could not get it working.

The fact that people do and have to pinch pennies like this irritates me to no end. I am sorry to say, but this only makes me despise humanity more than i already do. The lengths stupid people will go to, to save a few dollars. Ink jet printers are such a dang scam! How did the world ever turn correctly on its axis before we all just had to have them? How ? !

I felt horrible for the trainer who was out bc he came a long way and could not get it working. Had to restart it 3x - he could barely show us how to do much. It is SO COMPLEX!!!! Big huge sharp needles, vaccuum seals, ionized water, all this crap you have to do. The rubber gloves, the print tests you have to run, ugg! We were trying so hard not to crack jokes in front of him, but nothing was working right. The suction thing was not taking the ink out correcly. If you push one wrong button in this certain sequence, the entire vacuum chamber can fill up with ink in seconds. omg!!!!!!!!!

So, they will come to repair it tomorrow, and i asked for the next training session to be next wednesday at 2 p.m., giving me a whole week to plot the kiosk's demise. One of the guys and i tonight made hand-made VendaFace posters and put them all over it (even tho it looked very unprofessional and i'm sure some customers were wondering what we might have been smoking...) and i ranted on and on and on about how stupid it was that someone made the decision to have this machine which is wayyyy too complex for us to run. I don't care about the landfills. We already recycle cartridges and re-sell them for 20-50% off. What is the difference here?

Anyways, i bought us another week before it has to go live... I just wish it would go away.

Now, as for IDOL, i'm glad Ace is gone... but ANDREA BAC=WHATEVER HIS NAME IS next week???! What???! Ryan S. looked like he was going to tinkle in his pants, he was so excited about this "legend." Ugg. Chris in the bottom 3 ? Time for some humble pie, bro. I think he compromised a little too much with his "wonderful world" song. Elliot is SAFE. Whew.

   [ posted  @ 9:20 PM | ]

Idol was SMOKING! And yes, tho i tried to vote for 3 hours straight only for #4, Ellioooooot, i didn't get thru one time. If he ends up in the bottom 3, i will be more convinced the show is rigged.

That said, I must mention the wisdom of my genious mother... who remarked on the producers' constant choices this season to bring in the ancient musical stylings. What is with this? I mean, i do believe pop music is basically dead - and that today's hit radio is all garbage, but do we have to live THIS far in the past? Kenny Rogers? Rod Stewart? Queen? Stevie W.? Anyways, despite this, the kids did a fabulous job this week.

Chris - OMG another song that he sings containing the word RAINBOW. I feel horrible. He was terrific. I didn't need to vote for him, he's a sure bet. Great outfit too.

Taylor - Kind of boring to start out, but ends with a bang. I would not be suprised to see him win the whole show. He's so fun to watch.

Paris - She sings so great, but like Simon said, what's with the Minnie Mouse speaking voice, and the grandma singing voice? She can't win. I think she'll be going home this week, or next.

Kellie - OUUUUCH. So, i was in the kitchen making coffee this morning and had her on in the background (yes i first watched the show this morning but found out Elliot's voting # last night and tried to vote for him even tho i hadn't seen the show) - and i thought she was missing notes left and right. Maybe i heard her wrong, so i came and sat down. No, it wasn't just me. She really did butcher it, and even she knew it. Why does she look every week like she's had a face lift?

Elliot - Tho i'm a fan, he didn't do the very best. He looked really old too. He probably will be in bottom 3 again, but i think he's the bestest.

Ace - Am i the only one that hates when he sings in falsetto? Was Randy real when he said he wants Ace to do a whole song that way? Ugg! I thought he did a great job tho.

Katherine - Whoa, she NAILED it! I loved Mr. Holland's Opus - and she did remind me of that. She is flawless.

Bottom 3 - Ace, Paris, Elliot. Going home: Paris. PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE ELLIOT!

   [ posted  @ 7:17 AM | ]

Before I post about Idol, i have to blog about this new machine we got at work. Al Gore would be SO PROUD... saving the environment at the expense of my personal sanity. Remember Muppets, SEASON 1 ? Remember Vendaface? This machine reminds me of that...

When the truck driver arrived yesterday, and i unrolled the loading dock door, i could hear the celestial music, heavenly hosts and bright lights emenating from the machine, which was the only thing left on the semi. Since i had just watched 2001: Space Odyssey this weekend (should i say that i fast forwarded thru the whole thing? yes. zzzzz) this reminded me of needing to have The Right Stuff. And like some stupid pathetic loser of a human being, weeks ago i volunteered to be the store's captain & trainer regarding this machine, which looks about 4x as big as your refridgerator, and appears as tho it is a super computer from the early 1950's. It has nozzels, wires, sharp blades and needles, distilled water, ink vats, plastic gloves... and i'm in charge of the stupid thing.

We all stood and stared at the thing... I started dreaming of going to a costume shop and buying astronaut gear. I renamed it "Sputnik" and wanted to be called John Glenn for the rest of the night. I renamed the rest of the staff other names like Yuri Garrigan, Buzz Aldrin, Gus Grissom, Alan Shepherd, Chuck Yaeger, and any other astronaut names i could remember. I started making up all these great rumors and lies, about how you had to wear a welder's helmet, and moon boots, and anti gravity shoes and flame retardant sleeves -- and had everyone in a frenzy.

Since it's a european machine (which for some reason they keep telling us is a great thing?) i made up stories about how you have to pre-pay with Euro's and if you don't have Euro currency on you, you have to go the copy counter to get your money changed, like in biblical times. We would change your american money to euro's and dishonestly keep a small portion for ourselves. The sad thing is, some people i work with really believed this. Sad? Or, fun?

So by the time i got to work this morning, the installers were there, and my boss greeted me at the door. The staff this morning didn't know of my nasa spoof, and they had already dreamed up a whole new idea, regarding The Great and Powerful Oz - step away from behind the curtain - I have been renamed Dorothy, and my managers are all different members of her team, scarecrow, tin man, lion, etc. The associates are the green flying monkeys, and tho i wanted instead to be called Mrs. Gulch bc i'm always such a crab-apple, they wouldn't have that. We're saving that one for the ticked off customers when they realize it will take a long time to do their cartridge, if it's tested as possible to refill at all. I sorted thru the thick manual tonight and am FREAKED OUT. It's sort of like having to learn how to run a photo-lab in two hours, only this involves blades, needles, and sharp currents of electricity, volts, and most of all, the fun messy ink which i'm sure will ruin many a pair of khaki pants. Remind me again why i do this?

No, don't.

I tried to find a pic of it on the web, but i'm coming up empty. Officemax will be exclusive users of this product for the next year or so... supposed to be cheaper and faster turn around time than Depot. I'll let you know how it goes. We don't even have the staff to man the sales floor at this point, i'm not sure how we are supposed to have the time to run diagnostics on these stupid cartridges while you wait... ?

Finally, I proposed something that i think could revolutionize america. I wanted to set up a display of typewriters and dump-bins of ribbons at the service counter to remind people that it was not too long ago when we had to be accurate when we typed, and we had to use white-out, or those little white correctable papers, and not every home in the country had to have 2 or 3 little money guzzling ink printers... what ever did we do?

I miss the clackity clack clack of an electric typewriter. I just might bring mine back with me when i go home next time. Ahh, the good ol' days.

I will post about idol, but first, you need to know that i switched shifts with someone so i could be home tonight to sit and vote for Elliot and since 8 p.m. (it is now 10:18 p.m.) his line has been busy. So if he's in the bottom 3 again, i will be convinced it is rigged. In over two hours of trying, not one of my votes has been registered yet. I LOVE YOU ELLIIOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (do i sound like e.t., from OUTER SPACE?)

   [ posted  @ 7:52 PM | ]

One of the reasons one day i'd like to be a home-owner is so that i could buy a dog, and me and my dog would dance across the floor to SHADOW DANCIN' all night long with the music cranked as loud as it goes. Anyone got a disco ball i could borrow? Fun freedom over here :)

You got me looking at that heaven in your eyes
I was chasing your direction
I was telling you no lies
And I was loving you
When the words you said
Baby, I lose my head
And in a world of people
There's only you and I
There ain't nothing come between us in the end
Can I hold you when you ain't even mine
Only you can see me through
I leave it up to you

Do it light, taking me through the night
Shadow dancing
Baby you do it right
Give me more, drag me across the floor
Shadow dancing
All this and nothing more

All that I need is just one moment in your arms
I was chasing your affection
I was doing you no harm
And I was loving you
Make it shine, make it rain
Baby I know my way
I need that sweet sensation
Of living in your love
I can't breath when you're away
It pulls me down
You are the question and the answer am I
Only you can see me through
I leave it up to you

Do it light, taking me through the night
Shadow dancing,
baby you do it right
Give me more, drag me across the floor
Shadow dancing

All this and nothing more
And in this world of people there's only you and I
There ain't nothing come between us in the end
How can I hold you when you ain't even mine
Only you can see me through
I leave it up to you

Do it light, taking me through the night
Shadow dancing
Baby you do it right
Give me more, drag me across the floor
Shadow dancing
All this and nothing more

   [ posted  @ 6:26 PM | ]

Time for the weekly idol reflection!!!

Overall impressions: I was impressed with the Queen show, even tho i truly had my doubts that it could be anything cool worth watching. I couldn't think of any Queen hits besides the obvious, and with the exception of Chris and Katherine, i started remembering the good Queen songs.

Bucky: Kind of boring. He did pick a good song for him.

Chris: He's an amazing rock 'n roller, but why not pick a song people actually have HEARD?

Katherine: Man, i think she really had some WRONG NOTES! It was almost painful. But some parts were great, too.

Taylor: He's back! I really think the competition is favoring him (just bc he's great) and i would not be suprised to see him go all the way. I really liked the performance. I disagreed w/ Simon that it was stupid. He did great.

Ace: I can't believe it, but i really liked that rendition and think he did a great job. I even rewound it bc i was shocked that i liked it. He tried really hard, and i think he did what he needed to do. Not sure why the judges weren't digging it. I predict this will keep him around a little longer.

Kellie: She did a great job. I didn't really like the song arrangement, but not bad.

Elliot: I am fairly sure he was singing to me... haha. No suprise. This guy could come out with gook on his clothes and sing horrible and i'd still love him. He's my fave.

Paris: Outfit was horrible, hair was cool, but she did a great job!!!!

Now it gets hard for predictions bc these are great performers. This week's bottom 3 prediction:
Katherine, Bucky, Elliot (possibly Paris instead of Katherine?). I hope Elliot's not in the bottom but i just have a bad feeling.

To go: Bucky?

Did i hear right that it's a 1 hour recap ? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? I just rewind the last five minutes of the show when i get home from work and see who lost, then watch the rest of the show later. Ha!

   [ posted  @ 6:46 AM | ]

I decided to help out this campagin, just a little... I'm helping to design some literature and brochures for Ben Powers, who is running on the Constitution Party ticket for MN state senator, hoping to replace Mark Dayton (good riddance.) Dayton has announced he will not run again. Mark Kennedy who will most likely be the GOP front runner refuses to sign HR 552, the Right to Life Act, which has been stalled in committee for some time now. Spineless cowardly republicans (including our sad excuse for a president) refuse to name the unborn as a real person. If Kennedy won't sign it, he definitely is not worthy of my vote. Time for a change...! And, also time to put my copy editing and layout skills to work. I am also discussing with Ben the possibility of hosting a blog for the campaign which i think would be incredibly fun.

I was sad to see Mandisa go last night in IDOL, but holy cow that was a close call for me and Elliot's mom! We were both ready to keel over!!! omg!

   [ posted  @ 7:27 AM | ]

What time is it? Every clock in my apt is minutes off from the other.......... i don't even know if i can trust my computer clock. Ugg! This resulted in the end of GILMORE GIRLS getting cut off last night in my VCR -- so i don't know how it ended. I left some posts on message boards hoping someone can tell me. Nothing like watching your favorite show all the way to the end and then it's cut off.

Okay, for IDOL...... To show you how in tune i am to the UNIVERSE, I almost fell on the floor when i found out it was Kenny Rogers night!!! I sing THE GAMBLER all the time at work... all the time!!!! And this weekend i was singing COUNTRY ROADS to the Mexican floor care workers who speak no english at all... they were laughing. I was using Sharpie markers as a microphone and then putting the "microphone" in their face hoping they'd sing the next line. Everyone i work with thinks i'm nuts. They are right.

My thoughts on Idol for this week: Gee, Ryan's growing a beard. I like beards. Why can't i get Matt to grow one??? Mentioning to him that Ryan Seacrest is growing one actually won't help matters so i 'll be quiet. The question of the season: "WHAT IS IN THE CUPS YOU GUYS ARE DRINKING?" I think it was basically a throw-away week... if this is a pop competition, why did they pick Barry Manilow and Kenny Rogers who are not pop icons anymore? Think about that...

Taylor ------- Holy boring!!! Almost ff'd thru it. Bring back the spaz dance. This was so boring. So many great songs to choose from... and he did NOTHING with this one. Ugg! Disappointment.

Mandisa - I actually think she did great with probably not being a country music fan. I like her attitude.

Elliot --- Well of course you know he's my favorite; i loved the song. He's great!!!

Paris --- This is not her genre. I didn't like her performance at all. Sang some wrong notes.

Ace - Actually did okay with the song. But i can't stand looking at him. Do you really think he will win??? I hope not.

Kellie- THE BEST! Loved the performance... She nailed it. Side note: i also bought some sal-mon fillets in honor of her. Gonna grill them this week.

Chris - Very good - but i had to laugh when the lyric was talking about rainbows. Poor guy, that had to just KILL him!

Katharine - She did great!!! She actually made the song her own, admitting that this was not her usual musical choice. I really liked it.

Bucky -- This was his night to shine. I think he did okay. His voice has an immature quality in it. Like he's not quite grown up yet but is trying to be. A lot of people like him tho!


Predictions: Bottom THREE: Paris, Bucky, Mandisa.

To Go Home: Paris.

Disclaimer: I don't want to write it, but i am afraid that Katharine will actually end up in the bottom three bc of last week, but hopefully this performance won her back some votes.

   [ posted  @ 7:11 AM | ]

And now i would like you to look down at your shoes, if you are wearing them. Take a good look at them. Now, i'd like you to go into your kitchen and look at any fresh fruit or vegetables you may have in your fridge or on your cupboard.

Okay. Now I would like you ask you one question, and then another.

First, did you keep your receipt for the shoes you are wearing, or the produce you bought?

Secondly, If you did keep your receipt (for which i would call you a complete moron) would you ever be brazen enough to try to return your shoes or that fruit for a full refund, after you had already used them? ...8 months later? Let's say you kept that banana peel, took it back with the receipt to the customer service counter at your grocery store, and then with a plain face, demand a full refund bc your recipe didn't turn out as you expected, AND it's now 8 months later?

Would you ever wear shoes for 8 months and then take them back and honestly demand a full refund? WHO WOULD DO THAT?

Guess what, it happens all the time in the office supply world. At least 2 or 3 times a day.

I know i should not let little things like this bother me SO MUCH, but for the last 24 hours i have been sitting around moping and stewing about an encounter i had with a man yesterday at work who demanded i refund him in full for a used ink cartridge and two horribly ripped up and cracked chair mats. He wasn't even asking for cash back (good thing bc i would have tore up his receipt and told him to get out of my store) but he just wanted "store credit" so he could buy a more expensive chair mat.

I went ROUND AND ROUND in circles with this guy... telling him these were chairmats from back-to-school that we no longer sell, that are not replenishable, and are not even in our inventory system for pricing anymore!!! He demanded to talk to my manager, and i said "i am the manager..." and because i'm a girl, he assumed there was someone higher up, so he said "you mean to tell me you are the top dog in this place right now? there's no one else?" And i looked him right in the eye, set his receipt on the counter, smiled and said "Yes that is correct."

This infuriated him even more. He took up almost 15 minutes of my time in this laughable situation... I almost wanted to ask him if i was on a hidden camera investigation, or candid camera, or if eyewitness news was trying to trap me. I was shaking. I was so upset. There were other legitimate customers waiting for my time, and this man, a business owner himself, who was about twice my size was going to stand there and strong arm me and would not leave until i did what he wanted. I price-checked the item and showed him how it came up $0.00 which means it is not something i can give him credit for. He demanded i over-ride the price. I offered him again and again to get him the number for Rubbermaid bc the chairmats have a 12 month limited warranty. He said he didn't buy the mats from Rubbermaid, he bought them from my store, and that he wanted to go thru my store. UGGGGG. Infuriating.

Finally, because he was starting to get obnoxious (well, just the thought of him bringing those horribly cracked mats back was obnoxious enough) and other people were now watching, to get him out of the store, i did what i knew had to be done. I also did what i knew would happen if my store manager did have to intervene... i gave him his full purchase price back on a gift card, for both the used ink cartridge (our company brand, which SUCKS; never buy third-party cartridges!) and the two black chair mats.

I slammed the gift card on the counter after i activated it. Well maybe not slammed. I set it down so that i could slap it against the counter as i bent the plastic and sneered at him. I told him how much was on the card. He promised to be back the next day (today) to buy a more expensive chair mat. I had to walk it off and go away from everyone for a few minutes to gain my composure bc i was shaking so much and i was ready to completely blow up.

What really upsets me even more than the customer is that i work for a company whose ridiculous motto is "just say yes" and "just say yes" is an awful great way to go out of business. Giving that guy 17$ for each chair mat after they were completely destroyed and which we will get no credit from Rubbermaid for is exactly like stealing. He's asking me to give him something for nothing. I might as well as reached into the till, grabbed 34$ in cash and just handed it to him.

Now i ask you... if you would have taken your used and tattered shoes to the store you got them from and demanded a full refund bc they didn't hold up like you wanted to, not 30 days but 8 months after you bought them, would any clerk in any store in their right mind refund you???????????? NO! Would the grocery store give you a full refund for used bananas ? NO! So why do we? Why did i have to give him that money, bc i know my boss would have said yes... It's what we do.

And it's the reason why OMX is #3 and dead-last in the business. Now i get to look forward to confronting that guy again when i go into work today and he comes to pick out his chairmat. Joy.

   [ posted  @ 9:41 AM | ]

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